|2k words + media madness bonus|
23 Year Old Borgdun Gonbay II - The Youngest GM In Professional Sports History
_The Outer Banks Aviators have named Borgdun Gonbay II as their new General Manager causing outrage across the league. Fans took to their complaints to online message boards calling for the Iranian oil tycoon's head within minutes of his appointment in Outer Banks. Bongay II has a history playing recreational soccer, and experience at the junior level of tetherball.
Alright whenever I play EHM I name my guy after the mighty ducks coach right, so I'm doing that here of course. I have to be very, very strict with money. Short with money, Can't spend near the soft cap. We're setting internal budgets on this bitch right away. I will tell all my players-we want the 6th round pick gem players, we want all of them alright. Where was Penny Kowers drafted? is what i'll ask them. I don't remember 6th round or some shit okay. That's what we say. Even when there only ends up being 3 1/2 rounds of picks we stick to the plan. No spending. We're not going near that soft cap cause real talk I will get fined relentlessly along the way, that rule book is way too long. I'm fucked. And we're planning ahead for it, okay? Go OBX
I agreed to a contract with my player now so well say they're retired, too hard to trade for. I'd recreate at the teams biggest needed position -SP. Doesn't fix the situation there though, next biggest needs CF fuckin nobody there. and SS ghost of Bobby Schmurda, nice. There's about to be no 1B at all cause I'm buying 153 TPE samee out of his .5M inactive contract for next season. Maybe I trade him for some dust idk, we'll see. I'd buy one of Jake Stennett or Sleve McDichael a position change to CF cause that matters yeah? Fix that shit right up. Yeah then I trade whole team to China.
Mookie Banks p good goddam. Gonna be a 1 man show on the mound.
It looks like The Aviators have 60.5M spent on the roster above for S6. Gonna become 60.25 after I buyout samee. There's 26M spent in S7, and nobody under contract for S8. The soft cap is set at $102M, I'm gonna need at least 7.5M buffer for getting fined along the way. Drops us to $94.5M available for S6. I think we'll probably end up paying for 1-3 position changes as well over the next season or two, so let's say $86.5M is the teams ceiling. Which means nothing right now really.
I'd give 100% of the teams leftover budget in S5 to Sleve McDichael for their terrific rookie performance, hopefully it would inspire the rest of the guys to be a little more like McDichael. Then we'll have them switch from RF to CF over Jake Stennet, as Stennet is the one I'd look to possibly deal. Plus he's old and it's against the rules fuk.They are the better player, but screw it dog we're building around Kit.
Billy Benson and Kimetrius Webster would be paid to move to 1B and SS. In whatever combination that Rindiee likes the least cause trella is earning more teps than him u feel. The rule book says "Pitchers will be allowed to switch from SP to RP" but doesn't say RP to SP, but it also doesn't say you can't do RP to SP. SO if I could do that then fuckin Hannu Karpotsev is becoming a starter if I can make them... aand nvm they're too old. But, we'll take that cap hit from 60.25 up to 72.25 by making those other guys move around.
Would look something like this
Sleve McDichael RF->CF
Billy Benson C->1B
Kimetrius Webster 2B->SS
I think that'd make LF and C the only pos that's still gotta ded guy for OBX. The current backup C isn't too far back from Benson though, so they can chill there for a bit. Lot's of inactive pitchers as well. The uh goal to win and stuff the answer to this prompt, is to get a bunch of good ass pitchers playing for us at the same time as these guys moving around. How do you get good ass pitching? The draft.
Alright with that the plan is pretty simple, I get Ben Waters 1oa. He's not a pitcher, but a 2B. I make waters team president, and Co-GM. We run it all, okay? This also makes a Kenny McCormick trade easier with another young infielder filling out the... infield. Everyone wants the world for their good players in this shit. Me too, I'd have to bring back someone like Greg Steiner. He may be GM lol idk, but there's a big drop off in top TPE pitchers. If Connor McDonald were to leave in this situation maybe something could happen. 1 for 1 that trade gets turned down, gotta add but how much I don't know. SP is a premium position, you gotta pay for that shit if it's trade.. Unless you don't and they're easy, who knows?
Wozy, Sinclair, and Rove are other options. Sinclair's the only one with some fkin velocity so they'd be the other one to do something around, though Clem Johnson's on NYV from S4 at 2B with 400 TPE. Stanton's crazy on PRO. Shit broke idk mane what am I saying. I wouldn't rush to fill pos players with top SPs as trade bait. Probably nobody's else is going to trade their starters for infielders or any other pos anyway so this is all nonsense no matter what. Should probably try to trade up for a pick to get a pitcher. Think this draft is pretty slim so far so moving up could be necessary.
Jake Stennett could get dealt for a pitcher as well, would want to bring an outfielder back which probably means a worse pitcher, so maybe I just fuckin keep them out of fear cause if all these other peoples flop I'm gonna get fired n shit with a dead 6 TPE team. Same with McCormick, if a deal for a SP isn't fair then waters would become the catcher and like it.
Connor Tanner is somone who could end up being on a new team after this draft, young player, fast earner. They look primed and ready to make an impact this upcoming season. The guy plays a fairly important position. He's a star player. There's no doubt. But does he fit with our culture? That I just don't know. Again, really only interested in SP's in trade, though Simon Hans has a fuckton of TPE for SAS at 3B, they can probably hit. Who knows pull da trigger ... get turned down cause keygan stink.
Karpotsev, I'd kinda want to trade them but the imaginary market in my head isn't fun, maybe a trade with them would be able to speed up a rebuild. I uh. idk what's going on though. Maybe they're just slow enough that keeping them is a risk if they stop. Do I harvest their organs now or in the future I'm not sure. Nobody else is a relief pitcher lol.
Really whatever trades that would occur would end up being for picks. Probably wouldn't be able the players back I'm naming like Hans, and Steiner. Someone's gotta be a dick to get a higher TPE player in trade. So that means if i did find trades for a bunch of capable guys I may just end up gathering a big o team of dicks. Nobody wants that eh.
#1 attainable target is Kieth Shields, SAS dropped them. 69% chance I'd get them on a multi-year deal so let's just assume that's the only player we sign in the off-season. Oh jeesus 331 TPE I thought it was more. Okay team options n shit all the way through their regression yr and no player rights goddamit. I'd believe in them in this situation and push them to build a good player before they start to die. It could be good, or so I think. Then they'd probably retire after a season or two lol. Alright, see this we're planning ahead for mediocrity and pain.
Sinclair opted out, no reason to leave NYV for OBX this off-season though doubt they'd consider it if they want to win. Awh shit Hawk Russel opted out this a young LF with some teps. OBX oughta be at least thinking of throwing money at them for real. Fill out the outfield. There's 14.25 in space from what I said the internal budget would be at 86.5, fuck that though we'd immediately disregard it and spend all the way to the hard cap on trying to get Sinclair, Shields, and Russel. Not rly, but I could see offering Hawk Russel like 9 or 10 M to give us a bunch of active hitters. Take Shields at minimum or some shit.
I included a new SP in the roster that'd I'd earn points on fast as fuck and be in the mix of capable pitchers in like S8 or S9 when J.R. Wilson starts to die, and Mookie Banks is entering their prime. I didn't mention Wilson as a player to trade cause like Karpotsev I really don't know what they become in a few seasons. They may stay where they are, or they could just be an old slower guy that still fits a window to win with the rest of the team. Trading them this off-season wouldn't recoup much, maybe DV would want them at a premium price, hard to guess on them.
At this point depending on FA the team would need to add at least 1 SP, LF, and probably 2-3 relief pitchers. Also someone to DH, shit man. Waters is gonna be C in this dream remember da.I need more time to rebuild the team.
I don't think it's realistic to address all that by the start of S6. Could hope to add the starting pitcher in either S6 or S7's draft, and flush out the other positions over the course of the next 3 seasons. But the good ass SP that's our answer may not come till that 3rd seasons draft in like S8. The window would open around S10, S11 maybe? Like 3-4 seasons before Mookie Banks and all the other S5 guys hit regression.
Here's what the important guys look like going forward
2B Kenny McCormick- Can last more than 2-3 seasons of regression
CL Hannu Karpotsev- Can last a couple seasons of regression, maybe bulks up for more
RF Jake Stennett- Should be able to last more than 2-3 regression years
SP J.R. Wilson- May not last in regression
3B Connor Tanner- Hits regression in S13
SP Mookie Banks- Regresses in S14 growing fast as shit
1B Billy Benson- Looks promising
SS Kimetrius Webster- Should become a good player
CF Sleve McDichael- Could earn more, but is still a fit
C Ben Waters- The key to it all
SP??? 2nd round pick - This would be nice, may need to trade up to get someone active if they look promising with a good build n shit.
SP/CL??? 1st/2nd pick - Once we got waters, then draft by premium position. Get all the SP's. Corner the market. Bend teams over in trade yaya. Can find a LF and DH if I'm overflowing in SP. Fuck those positions.
Of course people are gonna want out, and retire along the way. Some decent people can come along and sign in OBX as well, though it's not something you can rely on. Have to draft well, not be a egotistical bitch n get fucked losing a bunch of ground when I upset players. Sounds hard.
What'd I say I'd do overall? Basically u gotta draft well for the next 2-3 seasons. Take as many SP as possible. Move a couple position players around, get Waters, move him to a new pos. End up being too petty with older movable guys and hold onto them cause there's only 6 teams and I doubt anyone would give me better players. Then pray to get some FAs to bless me with wins cause I made a sanctuary for Water and friends. We'll win some baseball games about 9 months from now.